Pre-departure Babble

Four days until I leave for Paris, and between the packing and goodbyes and general happy stress, I've realized I have no New Year's resolutions. Not one. The thought didn't even cross my mind this year--a stark contradiction to my usual "lose ten pounds" promise, knowing full well that after three days at the gym it'll turn into an "okay, fine, just eat less chocolate or something" type deal. But the point is, this year I didn't even try to lie to myself about making changes.

Why is that? Maybe I can't decide what values I want to keep through my trip to Europe (translation: I'm coming back fat). Or maybe I never really knew what my values were to begin with (translation: I'm also coming back one of those narcissists, obsessed with "finding themselves" in a different language and time zone when they can't even manage themselves in this one and insisting on telling everyone--i.e. you!-- about their "journey" in great detail).

In place of a resolution, however, I have something better to think about in preparation for Paris this Monday--What type of travel cliche should I be? Of course, they are cliches for a reason. They happen. They're common! They make people cry, laugh, whatever. And, plus, they're the source of a large chunk of profit-grossing cinema.  Let's run through a few of the options (read entirely in a Mr. Moviefone voice for full effect):

• The Broken Hearted. When her romantic life took a turn for the worst, she left everything she knew behind. But will she find the romantic distraction she's seeking? Seems like what she ends up finding may just be....herself.
• The Compulsive Over-Achiever. Every detail of every trip is planned, but when her heart takes over, will she have what it takes to ditch the guidebooks and let loose?! 
• The College Party Elitist. You know how this story goes already...every shitty decision she's ever made is documented on facebook. But what crazy antics will she do next? Watch her kick it up a notch in Europe, in attempted Carrie Bradshaw style!
• The Obnoxious American.  What do you mean, "no substitutions"? Is this bed adult-sized? All these fucking signs are in French! 

Looks like it's slim pickings. I'll have to break the mold! Step out of my comfort zone! Make this trip one for the record boo--What? The "traveler who tries not to be a cliche, but consequently ends up speaking in them" is already established? Shit.